My new BB...

Hi ladies and gentlemen....

Present to you, my new BB torch 9800...

Yahooo!!!!!

I just bought it on last Sunday.

Due to some incident, my BB curve 8520 gemini has passed away =(

So, I decided to get a new BB.

Actually, I never think to change a new phone.

But, never mind!!! It's cool huh!! ^^

It's a Christmas present for myself. Lovely =)

Tonight gotta head to Penang!!

For a new year countdown show...

Perform for Caprice =.=

I will start holiday now until 4th of January!!

This is really a good time for me to rest and shop some stuff and furniture for my whole new room!!

Other than that, also gotta set a new target for myself in the year 2011.

2010 is already a history, must set a higher target and achieve more for that.

Happy new year, guys!!

Have fun and set another new target for the year 2011 =)

放手

心痛比快乐更真实。

孤独比拥抱更真实。

这两段词是我在一首歌里，最喜欢的。

这首是张惠妹的歌，歌名是~ 真实。

我拿了两天休假，好让我可以疗养我的膝盖和我的心。

我好多了，只是偶尔会想哭。

正常啦，膝盖受伤了接近两年，现在约来约严重。

昨日，自己去了医院一趟。

遇到一位很体贴的医生，他帮我治好我的伤。

帮我开了很多的药材，让我可以在家自己疗伤。

真的很谢谢他。

至于心的伤，是没有医生可以帮我疗伤的。

昨天，在去医院之前，去了一趟 Fahrenheit 88。

我还是第一次这么早去shopping。

没有shopping啦，只是想一个傻瓜在街上流浪。

结果，在一间店里遇见了一个久违的朋友。

她是个歌手，我和她是同一间大学的。

之前，帮过她伴舞，当她的舞者。

她在那里上班，她已没当歌手了。

我们聊了一会儿，也向她买了几件衣服。

过后，我便去了同善医院。

自己长了这么大，还是自己第一次去医院看病。

那里都是华人，都是说华语。

我都是一直看着那里的护士。

我好羡慕她们，她们的制服好漂亮哦。

浅蓝色的裙，那是我最爱的颜色。

她们看起来好纯洁哦。

当护士是我的其中一个梦想。

但，这个梦想已离我很远很远了。

看完病和拿了药，才知道自己是开不了车回家的。

回家的路途是满遥远的。

之后，也才知道没有人能帮我。

就连你，也不想帮我。

不仅在医院留下了眼泪。

之后，还是自己勉强地开车回家。

无论，我的膝盖是多么的痛。

我还是咬紧了牙根忍着，一直到我回到家。

一直想有个人可以借他的肩膀给我，好让我可以依靠。

我的心一直还在痛，但没有关系。

我一定会好起来的。

我没有任何的遗憾，因为我已深深的爱过你。

也为你做了许多傻事，但你仍然是这样。

我也无能为力了。

只有放手，是对你和我最好的选择。

我放弃了当全职舞者，但我还要当舞者的。

我很想念大学的studio，更想念大学里的舞台。

那个舞台有我种种的美好回忆，我的舞迹都在那里了。

现在的我，还是一样爱跳舞。

只是，我有更重要的责任了。

那就是对我家人。

我现在也可以更自由的飞翔了！

再见了，好好加油哦。

要好好的爱自己哦。

Today is Saturday....

Today is Saturday.

It's suppose to be a wonderful weekends.

But, I'm sitting in front of the computer in my office.

Only 5 of us working today.

Turning to lazy mode.

Tonight gotta head to KL live for Flyfm anniversary.

Dancing for Caprice~~

Tomorrow, for me is a big day.

Because there's a performance from us~ HAD

All the best and good luck to all my comrades and me =)

Don't think too much on others thing.

Just need to focus on my job, my responsibility.

Good luck and stay happy~~ Miss Caren!!

Tears.....

I'm very very sad now.

Deeply down now, my tears can't stop flowing...

No ones know..

No ones care...

So what if I'm sad, life's still goes on...

Everything won't be stop because of me.

Nothing can pull me up as well.

People said that the tears is priceless.

Don't simply let it flow.

I tried to control it.

But, it's not that easy.

Sometimes, I just wish I can cry it out loud!!!!!

Can I??

The october...

I feel so tired...

Don't know why..

The only thing that I'm thinking is just a vacation.

Far far away from Malaysia, it could be better.

If not a vacation, i wish that can be a longggg holiday.

I just wanna sleep for a whole week at my lovely hubby's bed.

I miss dancing...

Very very much....

I know i just gave myself an excuse to stop dancing.

Stupid!

I'm always live dancing so damn much, will never change.

I'm still dancing, just that i can't dance that much.

Another thing has changed in my life now is...

My love on you is getting deeper and deeper...

That's great...

I wish to be with you all the moment.

I wish to spend my whole life with you.

I miss you so much, when you're not beside me.

I feel so uncomfortable when you're not beside me.

I love you.....

Back to a normal and simple life

I always wanted to be someone special.

It can be abnormal also.

I always wanted to a dancer, not a simple dancer but outstanding dancer.

But, now I'm living in a simple life.

I had never think of these before, It will never happen even it's in my dream.

I'm now working in an office, wake up in the early morning.

Dress up my self with some nice and lovely clothes or dress with the black high heels.

Then will heading to my office which is located at Jalan Templer, PJ.

Last time I hate to become an office lady.

But, now I'm an office lady.

My colleagues are very nice and friendly.

Luckily, i can speak malay, mandarin and cantonese very well.

My english is improving, cause I need to speak english to some of the customer.

Last time I hate coffee as well.

But, because I'm working as a office lady.

Sometimes will feel very tired and sleepy.

At these time, a cup of coffee can really helps a lot...

But, I still love chocolate more than coffee.

Still not really like the taste of coffee.

Simple but nice.

I love this slogan.

And I think it might can apply to me right now.

Goodbye my friend....

Recently, there's one of the member that same chapter with me has passed away.
He's my friend too.
He was only 19 years old.
He passed away cause of accident. It happened on last Sunday.
Everyone are sad... Especially his family.
I attended his funeral on Tuesday and Wednesday.
I saw his family, his father who looks very upset.
His mom was crying most of the time, and his elder brother is upset too.
I'm thinking there's anything can happen in anytime in our daily life.
What we can do is to appreciate everyday and everything that we have, and also everyone who is beside us.
Besides that, through our daily life we must create some value.
We must not simply go through our life, that's meaningless.
Try to contribute to the family, society and Gakkai!
There will be great, if we just have friends but no enemies.


I will always chant for you and your family.
May you rest in peace.
Goodbye, my friend.

Mooncake Festival

Today is mooncake festival.
Until today, i haven't eat even one slice of mooncake.


I have been sitting at home for more than 1 month.
Rest and relax.
My mom started to complain and blame me.
As usual, that's a normal things that might happen.
I told her that I'm finding some job, don't worry too much about that.
I've just watch this movie, called Sex And The City.






















It's really a nice movie, and I love it very much.
Although, it's an old movie.
And now I'm looking for Sex And The City 2.


Hopefully i can find a new job asap.
Wish me luck =)

Final Dec!s!on...

My knee was injured since a few weeks ago.
It's fine now.
I took 2 weeks + 1 week of raya = 3 weeks to rest.
During my ' holiday '
I was started to think of my future.
What the hell am i gonna do after my degree.
Dancing for the rest of my life? *Ahha, that's what i want*
But.......


Before this, i heard one of my lecturer talk about it.
Dance can't make money.
You're still young, of course you're full of passion to fight for your dream.
But, when you getting older, you have your own family.
Are you still fight for your dream no matter how hard is it??
Yes, everyone has a dream.
Dancing is my dream.
I don't mean i want money more than my dream.
Just that, I want more.
Not just dance.
But, just that i don't wanna stay at my ' lovely ' school to do my degree.
Actually, there's someone who always hope that I'm not a dancer.
Hmmmmm....... =))


Yes, i love dancing...... Very very much.
Cause, when I'm sad i wanna dance.
When I'm happy i wanna dance.
When I'm angry i wanna dance too.
I always wanna spread out hope and happiness to the people out there through dance.
That's not easy ya. ^^
But, i always have hope on it.
Even thought, I give up my degree.
Doesn't mean i give up everything.
I will still dancing.
I'm just gonna miss my lovely friends, seniors, juniors and lecturers in my school who always support me and taught me a lot.


To make this decision is not easy.
It needs tears, courage, sacrifice, pain and confidence. * and etc* ==

Sour. Sweet. Bitter. Spicy

P53 was very successful...
We had created another whole new history in the road of kosenrufu.
A6 is my group in this event.
I'm one of the group PIC in this event, together with my 2 lovely partner which is Man Yee and Hock Ann.
I always told them that, we are the luckiest person in this event.
Because we are the only group that has 3 group PIC and it's combine KK- Twilers, Gym and HAD.
Haha.... How lucky we are.
We can learn different things from each other.
We are so different, but we can work extremely good.
They are 29 person in my group.
They are so cute and lovely.
They always follow and listen to our instructions during practice.
In the last few days of rehearsals and practices, some of them are injured.
I'm so so worry about them, especially Mr. Chyuan Wei.
He called himself as a break dancer.
He usually practice break dance during weekdays.
One day he injured his back during P53's practice, and it's very worse.
I'm still remember that day was full dress rehearsal, his back is getting worse and he was suffering.
We sent him to the first aid, he was suffering and he couldn't perform at that time.
When i ask him, do you wanna perform?
He answered me, YES!!! with no doubt.
I was very impressed and feel very touching.
I'm so happy when i heard that from him.
He's the one who normally not very focus during practices.
He got no passion, no spirit during practice.
But, i can feel his heart during the full dress rehearsal.
He's one of the base for the formation 1.1
We asked him to be very careful during the full dress rehearsal.


After he left to the arena, i can't control my tears anymore.
I cried in front of the others group PIC, Maggie was hugging me.



When i was sitting at the middle of the audience's seats there, i can see every performers very clear.
I can't take my eyes off A6.
They perform with spirit and joyful.
They really impressed me with the spirit that they have.
1 of my favorite member is Pui Shee...
She is the youngest member in my group, she is only 12 years old.
She is gonna to face UPSR in next month.
She always smile in front of me, she is so so cute.
She always bling her big eyes in front of me, haha^^


I really had lots of memories in these 2 months.
Sour, sweet, bitter, spicy..
I love them.
Thanks for anyone of you...
Because of this event, i have another new way for my life.
I get back my passion in my life.


Yeah, gogogo~~~ Miss Caren =)

Sorry cause i disappoint you...

I had a very nice chat with you last night, thanks for your advices and comments.
I know what's my problem.
I know i shouldn't let it be.
I know i must solve it or change it from bad to good.
I know i shouldn't run away from the problem that I'm facing now.


I will dance even better after this =D

I wanna be myself, i just need to go for it.
Don't wait anymore, just go for it.


Wanna to leave here (K.L or even Malaysia) for awhile.
Maybe 1 or 2weeks..
Or maybe 1 or 2 months...
Wanna to take a long leave for myself, run away from my reality life...


Can i???
Please... =)

Bye my pretty longgggggggggggg hair...

Bye to my pretty longgggg hair =)

I like my new short hair ^^

Very young XD

Fresh, cool, free.... ^^

Hehehehehe!!!!

A brand new of me~~ =)

Misssssss Carennnnnnnnnnn ^^

Yippie......

I'm now at my 'lovely' college, just done James's rehearsal.

Doing nothing now, waiting time to pass.

It's been a long time that i didn't dance in my school.

As in Contemporary dance.

But, i did dance like Hip-Hop.

And i really wanna join that competition ~ Krazee Duck.

Sometimes I feel upset and insecure, when my mind started to think of some other things.

But, there's nothing i can do.

It's all my choice, and what i have chosen.

I can't blame anything.

Gotta head to Kuang later, for another rehearsal.

Gotta go Caprice's house at night for the music editing.

Yeah, cheer up caren.

Love yourself more and more ya =)

Just let it be....

What am i thinking now??

I really have no idea.

Single??

Yes?? No??

Don't know what to say.

Just let it be...

Well, i started James Kan's rehearsal today.

He is one of my senior who are now studying in Taiwan.

I danced for him for his every single choreography, except the very first one.

He's a great choreographer.

I was really really happy when i got his call from Taiwan.

He asked me to dance for him once again, i was very very happy and excited.

Thanks for always giving me this kind of opportunity.

Thank you very much, James =)

Other than that..

Finally, i met my classmates.

I think i din go to school for more than one month.

I quit the show at Actor's studio.

So, i became very free.

Just that i got HAD, P53 and Caprice's show.

I met Naim, Fairul, Has, Hanafi and some of my seniors and juniors.

Miss them very much, especially my classmates.

Lovely =)

I feel very sleppy now, gotta take a nap.

Still need to go to BK tonight, after that got rehearsal at akarkarya with 6BC.

Good luck, Mizz C =)

Let's break off!!!

Let's break off !!!!

This happened on 6:59pm, 5th of July 2010.

Don't know how many times it happen....

If wanna count me in, i think should be more than 10 times.

When you OFFER this, my heart feel nothing.

No sad,

No happy,

Nothing....

Empty...

I just said okay la...

What else do you expect from me??

Always blame that i don't understand you,

don't know what you want.

Then how about you, huh??

Do you know me very well?

Do you really understand me??

Do you know what i want??

There's always you, you and YOU...

Then, where is me, me and ME???

I'm tired....

Thanks for everything.

513am

Now is already 5.13am...

But, me still awake.

Drinking Kickappo, listening to Katy Perry's California Girls and blogging.

It's an enjoyable life.

Of course, i'm holiday-ing ma...^^

Tomorrow i might going out with Mr.R.

We got a performance with Caprice and 6BC at Holiday Villa which is located at Subang.

It's a prom, organized by KDU.

No payment for the show =(

Cause this is the performance where we gotta help Sophia to perform, same as Caprice. Sweet ^^

Before that, me and R plan to go to Snowflake before the show.

Cause the show start quite late, around 930pm.

We gotta reach there by 8pm, so before that we can go lepak first.

Just now i went to Fitness First, wanted to jog and do some exercises to built up my body muscles and keep fit. =)

Jogging for more than 20 mins, after i jog like 6 mins, Mr.R came.

Surprise!!! lol

After jogging, we go and work out for ourselves.

We left there around 1045pm and off to Murni to eat my dinner =(

Now already 5.24am, it's time to sleep la.

I don't wanna be panda on the next day. ^^

Night everyone =)

Again...

Again...

I thought it's over..

Maybe i'm stupid, shouldn't expect too much on you, right??

I'm very happy on what we have done yesterday.

But, back to the normal.

Maybe i shouldn't put too much of hope on you, cause it's really hurt me once you disappoint me.

Enough of tears, i tell myself.

It's too much, i can't take it anymore.

And it's worthless.

Cause seems like you don't care it very much, aren't you??

I really hope that someday you will realize it.

I'm suppose to go out right now, but i'm freaking lazy.

Outside is raining now, and i'm home alone.

Hey, welcome back.

Hi

I'm Caren.

I create a whole new blog.

I'm here to share my life to everyone of you.

First of all, i would like to introduce myself abit. ^^

My name is Caren.

I'm a student and full time dancer.

Studying degree in dance in National Art Academy (ASWARA)

I think i'm just a simple person.

Nothing much, see you guys again...

bye =)